One of the biggest problems of the people, is that they see problems as problems, not as situations. A problem is actually a situation like any other to whom we give a negative meaning.
If we give a negative meaning to a situation we will have an emotional response so that sometimes if not always, everything it does is to complicate even more the situation. You may have noticed that when you face a difficult situation, you repeat in your mind things like “oh how hard it is … how will I get over … I have to start all over again … I’m very afraid, and so on. “
Or when you want to do something really nice, something that you love like go boating or going on a trip or go out with someone you love, and you say to yourself or those around you “it’s going to be wonderful, it’ll be awesome, it’ll be exciting, it will be breathtaking ” and keep repeating this sentences in your mind.
You say things that amplifies your emotional response to the situation. This is not bad, unless the intensity of the emotions increases to a level at which they start to control you.
This is how emotions can easily control our reactions and rationality. If you want to master your emotions and not vice versa, you must understand them. You have to realize how they develop and what influences them. Especially how can you influence emotions.
As you may know, autosuggestion is an “instrument” by which we can encourage, stimulate and support ourselves. But what is in fact autosuggestion? Autosuggestion is a psychological technique that was developed at the beginning of the 20th century and used by anyone.
Autosuggestion can be, positive and negative.
Positive “ I will succeed, I am strong, I can handle it, I trust me”, negative ” I’m not good enough, I am weak, it’s hard, I’m not like this, and so on“. I’ll take a concrete example.
Suppose you are a few days before a speech in front of a large group of people. In the past you have made other speeches but in front of smaller groups of people.
As the event is approaching, where you have to hold the speech, emotions increase in intensity, besides that every time you think what are you going to do you get to say “wow … there’s going to be 200 people out there, everyone will stare at me, how is it going to be? ” this is how you amplify your emotions.
Arriving at the event you are beat/demolished by emotions, your mouth is almost clenched, your voice muffled and weak, you feel a lump in your throat and your legs start to tremble slightly. You can’t smile, you are dominated by fear. Fear is the one who controls you now, instead of you controlling her.
It’s a rather difficult situation, and besides that your mind starts thinking ” I am overwhelmed by emotions, I have to start my speech, can I speak coherently?”. You start to be afraid, and this leads to pressure on you, you make things become heavier, emotions become more intense because you have standards and expectations from you. Not to say that you will get thoughts like “I wonder what will people say, what if I stutter too often, what if I don’t speak loud enough,” and so you will have to overcome your own obstacles.
But what if in stead of negative thinking, you start thinking “well …it’s no big deal, how others can speak in front of thousands of people I can and I will talk now, IT’S ALL IN MY MIND, I speak with people daily I will do it the same on that stage, after all what‘s so hard to open your mouth and say some words? Well I will imagine myself sitting at home and talking with my mom/wife, it will be very simple. “
Now you have diminished your emotions, you are calmer, more relaxed and the speech will come out better because you have more control over you, your voice, will read fluently. Eventually everything came out beautiful because you had control over emotions.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s very normal to be nervous when you talk to a group of people. We all are, some more, some less, some experienced probably feel less on these emotions.
This reactions are normal. You should not blame yourself for that. It’s normal to be nervous. Emotions give beauty, color, taste, smell. A life without emotions … it‘s not a life. Therefore a synonym for emotion is the word “feelings”.
But emotions too intense are not beneficial, because, you start to lose control over you. And when you have no control, things you don’t want to happen guess what? Will happen.
In conclusion, if you know that you are an emotional person or simply live emotions more intense, learn from the example above andstart to guide your emotions. Never let emotions dominate you!
Remember: – It’s all in your mind, things are serious because you perceive them as serious
– Watch your thoughts and observe how they influence your emotional state. Adapt your thoughts so you can control your emotions.