You have your own way of understanding the world around you. Your perception does not mean that this is reality. You can not always have all the information, just as you can not find on a map the smallest details. Your map is your representation of reality rather than reality itself.
You create this map by filtering information through the senses, language, beliefs and values, and through your experience.
You have to respect others maps
If you want to communicate effectively, you should develop your particular interest (curiosity). Considering that each person has their own map, who decides which one is right and which not? A certain state of efficient curiosity will allow you to get full information about other people, which will help you create the connection to communicate and to influence. But you have to have respect for others maps. That does not mean you have to agree with someone else’s opinion, but it is helpful to understand him.
Give what you want to get
If you assume responsibility for the message you send it will give you control over the process and the results. Often people communicate their opinion over something and blame others or the circumstances because what they were meant to say was not understood. If you want to have control over your success, take responsibility for what you communicate – if you do not get the desired response, try to explain otherwise.
If others can You can
You hold all necessary resources to make changes in your life! You can achieve whatever you decded – just that some things require more time than others. When you commit your life to achieve your aspirations, make sure you also check the consequences.
There is no failure, only feedback
Even if you did not get the desired result, you still have got a result. Use this feedback to explore what you can do differently, to get the result you wanted. Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” and “What can I do differently / in another way?” Your focus should be on solutions and not at the problems.
Failure only exists as a state, as well as perception.
Mind and body are part of the same system
The way you think has a direct impact on your physiology. If you have sad thoughts, your body will reflect this. If your thoughts make you happy, your body will reflect this. Negative thinking tends to cause stress, this will thereby block your energy flow. Has been found increasingly often that serious diseases can be caused by the accumulation of stress. It is good therefore to facilitate energy flow of positive thinking.
Every behavior has a positive intention
The choices we make are the best choices according to our resources we have available at the time. In your mind, the choice that you make has a positive intention, even if others may not see it the same.
The most flexible person will control the moment
Flexibility of thought and behavior will give you the advantage of understanding the reality of other people’s maps, will allow you to build relationships and get results. If you’re a strict and rigid person you can create a tense situation in which the desired result is not achieved and the number of people with who you could build rapport is low. Flexibility does not mean you have to give credit to all that runs through your head, but to be able to adapt and grow through thinking and behavior. Inflexibility means one way to do things, fixed ideas, rigidity in thinking.
If you always do what you‘ve always done you will always get the same result
Unconscious programming makes you repeat certain patterns (templates / models) even if you are aware that they do not work. So why not learn to reprogram your thinking, your results could be different.
You are not identical with your behavior
Your behavior is something you do and whom others give meaning to. In other words, people make their own interpretation of your behavior, using as measurement unit their own map of reality. Chances are that their interpretation be virused. Successful people remember to look beyond behavior while interacting with others.
Your perception is your reality
Your map of reality is created by the way you perceive things. Your perception and reaction on a situation will be different from others. Since it is less possible for two people to have the same experience at the same intensity, there are very few universal truths.
You have control over your mind and also over your results
Everything begins with a thought. If you have control over your thoughts, you have control over your behavior and therefore also over your results.
Lack of interest leads to deficient rapport
After you have tried and succeeded building a bond with people you can become a leader and find those situations that have a win-win result for both of you. If the link is absent, signs of resistance and contradiction will appear. This can occur for example through inappropriate postures, or in that while you talk, they continue doing what they did before, so they are not linked. If lack of interest arises it is unlikely to achieve win-win results.
Abstaining from communication is almost impossible
In 1960, professor Albert Mehrabian studied verbal communication effectiveness and reached the following statistical conclusions:
· 7% of the message is transmitted through spoken words;
· 38% of the message is transmitted by the way words are spoken;
· 55% of the message is transmitted through body language and facial expression
Although these statistics are approximate and untrue when talking on the phone, they highlight the importance of facial expression, body language and tone of voice in the communication process. Whatever you would do, your behaviour, reactions and even your expression could be attached to a meaning.
You have all the resources you need to change yourself
The fact that you think this will help you find the resources you need to make the changes that will be beneficial to you.