This information has always been “under our nose” and yet, for many of us only now becoming understandable. Read carefully below so that the near future provide an important competitive advantage. In the more distant future, could become one of the most powerful tools of persuasion that you have.
There are three ways by which people prefer to perceive time: past, present and future.
Some people live in the past or use it to take decissions based on their past experiences. This choice may lead to cynicism or depression. On the other hand, these type of people are cautious and make fewer errors, even if they lose a lot of new opportunities.
They make statements like:
I always fail to gain substantially.
Last time I bought from this guys I was fooled.
How was I supposed to know that?
Another category is that of people who prefer to “live in the present.” They pay very little attention to the past or future and therefore suffer less stress. On the other hand, they tend not to plan in advance, but seek to enjoy the moment.
They tend to say:
I want to feel good!
Live your moment!
It sounds like fun, so what are we waiting for?
Last category is of those who prefer to filter reality through the prism of the future, it’s composed of people who procrastinate satisfaction. They believe that the past is not too relevant. They prefer to plan and organize future actions to the detriment of present satisfactions.
Their expressed thoughts are:
It’s better to invest rather than spend.
I prefer to wait.
Over 5 years will allow me to do that.
It is important to note that people are more complex than theories that describe them. Therefore, even if we observe one’s tendency to filter reality through the past, present or future, that does not mean that the person is good or bad one way or another.
Also, in different contexts, the same person may have different tendencies to relate to reality. For example, someone can take the decision to buy a car thinking through the past and the decision to make a trip through the present (or future).
Why did I say all of the above?
Because we started from the premise that you want to communicate better with others and increase your strength of conviction!
A simple and effective method is mirroring the time perspective. I mean carefully observe how the person in front of you speaks and use the same type of language (the same temporal perspective).
Thus, you transmit on a subtle level that your temporal perception is like her, and this deepens communication. Two people with the same perception of time feel psychologically closer than two people with different perceptions.
For example, imagine someone invites you to him (her) visit and says:
Come over to debug some memories. I want to tell you how it was last year when I went on vacation. Maybe you’ll tell me how great was your trip …
Come over I want to tell you what exciting plans I have! We could even collaborate! By the way, what are you up to?
Which of the above two invitations is more appealing to you? The one you like more actually indicates your preference in this context of time perception (the invitation). A good communicator knows this and use it in his favor to be able to convince you.
Suppose that (the one) who invites you is such a communicator.
What he actually does?
First he listens carefully. If by what you say, you demonstrate a preference for the past, he then will use the first approach in the example above (“… to debug some memories ..). If on the contrary he finds that you talk more about the future it will use the second approach ( “… I tell you what my plans ..).
Finally, if you talk about the present and say something like:
What a beautiful weather! Now our neighbors must be bathing in the Aegean Sea …
… then you could use an approach like this:
Come on over for a coffee! I have a very beautiful terrace faced to the orchard! And I have a phenomenal cherry jam! What do you think?
So, demonstrating the perception of time a professional communicator increases their chances of conviction every moment.
But that’s not all!
This ability to change the temporal perspective language is useful also in the situation where a person is stuck in an unproductive state and you want to convince her to get out of there.
– I can not believe I hit the car in the parking lot. How could I do such a stupidity ???
– Over 10 years from now while you will be driving the last Mercedes model you will be laughing about this situation!
– Don’t worry it’s neither the first nor the last scratch on this car!
– Interesting that you act like you’ve scratched the car 5 seconds ago! It’s been 2 days. Will you keep this up until Christmas?
– I afraid of this exam! I’m certain that I will not cope!
– And the other 30 exams before this one weren’t you “afraid”, and in the end you laughed!
– It’s not absurd to consume your time that you have available now to focus on what might go wrong, rather than do what you can do now?
In conclusion, it is important to listen carefully your interlocutor’s language and develop the ability to juggle when you talk. It has always been important in the relationship communication, and now becomes an essential skill, because this ability will be an important asset for you in the future.