When events in our lives get crowded or we are in a situation where we could use a moment to look at things from another perspective, what should we do?
You can wake up in the morning and find that you did not sleep too well. Leaving in a hurry to work you forget to make your coffee, though today you have to present the project you have been working but everything should work out fine.
Projector – checked, presentation – checked, everything is well and you start talking. At one point somebody “throws” a critiqueand from here you get your stomach tighten, the ideas disappear and with them you lose lucidity. What would be the best option in this case? Take a step back.
In NLP this phenomenon is called dissociation. When you step back basically you give yourself time to think, and you can develop a point of view that is not trapped emotionally to problem.
When you physically step back and change your physiognomy, this only gives a refresh to your emotional state.
Why this method works so well?
It is already proved that the mind and body influence each other. To sustain an emotional state the body must be placed in a certain position. So, you can tell when someone trusts him, when he’s angry, happy, etc.. Just by looking at that person. (I recommend to read The Book of Tells by Peter Collett)
The mechanism works and vice versa!
Returning to the example above, when you are criticized, your inner state combines with your physiognomy that you have at the moment. When you change position and posture by taking a step back or sideways that unpleasant sensation diminishes so much that virtually disappears.
So you’ll have a new beginning, a new position from which you can relocate your thoughts and give the right answer. Dissociation is a useful tool you can use whenever necessary!
But what if you don’t have room to move physically?
Most times, when you live a more intense emotional state, your body is tilted forward. You may have noticed in the cinema, when a series of scenes and events that catches you and gets your attention, you tend to gradually raise the head and neck while your torso is tilted forward.
In these cases, if it fits you, you can decouple from the action and relax your neck by leaving your head slightly backwards.
Of course, everyone is different and the method works different for everyone, but experiment, see what works for you and regain control in the right moments.