- You’ll master a new skill.
- People will be more drawn to you and will like you more.
- You’ll be a better friend, lover, teacher, employee and parent.
- Overall you’ll be a happier person by making other people happy.
One of the basic rules for an effective communication is to learn how to listen what people around you have to say, . Your professional success and happiness depends on it.
Whether you’re at a job interview, whether you’re talking with a potential customer or presenting a report to your boss, the success of all these actions depends largely on your communication skills. But they are not limited only to how you talk or how you write, as many people think.
To be successful at a professional level is not enough to know how to convey your message to the person you are talking to. You first have to understand why and how that person thinks and then build your message based on the information you have about and from him. For a sales person for example, is crucial to first understand what would the buyer like and then mold it to suit his demand.
If you want somebody to like you or just be interested in you learn how to listen. First things first and you have to know the difference between hearing and listening. You heare even when you’re asleep it’s one of our 5 senses it’s different from listening. Hearing it’s the sound/noise but listening means looking for a meaning ,so effective listeners are people that made the decision to get the meaning from life on purpose.
Like everything in life, listening should be learned, it’s not something that we were taught when we were children. How do you learn the dynamics?
Sit down and make a decision to listen on purpose, you gain information from people who know more about the topic. You can take notes and learn the process of listening and put it in to practice one little piece at a time until you become a better listener.
An active listener is a person that wants to listen. There are people that come to a meeting and all they want to do is communicate, talk, present, instead an active listener is a person that comes to a meeting to truly find out what’s going on, so while they sit in the meeting they use active listening skills. In this way they gain an interpretation of everybody’s meanings so that they become more effective or responding to them.
To become an active listener you have to go through a process (you don’t become an active listener over night) then you turn this process into a habit, as it is called subconsciously proficient basis.
The seven basics of listening.
- Tune in, when you want to listen you have to turn towards what you’re trying to listen to, who you’re trying to listen to and tune your mind in so that you can heare what you’re trying to listen to.
- Determine your role in the listening process, if your role is as a parent you listen to you children talk about something it would be to make sure you do a good job of parenting by checking out the people your children chose to play to, if your role is as a spouse it should be to listen so that you gain understanding of what somebody you love wants you to understand.
- Measure the value of the communication you’re getting, if your child is trying to tell you something and it seems really important to them and insignificant to you, then you cut off the listening process. So when you measure the value ask yourself this question Who is it coming from (the message) and what do they (people) mean to me?
- Suspend your judgement, most of us have a hard time doing this. How many times you set down, and in the listening process you started to judge people that where communicating immediately? However everybody has something important to say and if you allready made the decision to listen then suspend your judgement until the listening process is over.
- Receive the communication, when you are actually receiving communication stop and think about what is this important to, maybe to your work life so listen as a worker, maybe to your family so listen as a parent, listen as a friend and you will find that this information stores it self more rapidly.
- Interpretation process, you’ve listened to what they have to say know you have to give a meaning. They either trying to inform you, have a request from you, entertain you or influence you, so feed that back to them and then go to the next step wich is
- Clarify and confirm, is that what you meant?, is that what you wanted me to understand?, is this what you’re requesting from me?
Cues for showing people you are listening are leaning forward, hold your hand up to your ear if the person is across the room. But if you want to be a better listener you have to learn how to asking questions. The best listeners of the world are the people that ask the best and most meaningful questions.