Who has not experienced the feeling that the day is too short, or don’t have time for important things, feels tired before the workday is started? These negative feelings are manifestations of imbalance in our lives, but they can be removed.
The concept of inner balance is personal (depends on each person), can’t be generalized, tangible, can’t be measured, corrected or kept at an optimum level after being touched. It varies depending on personality, background and expectations. In general, inner balance implies a degree of control over what happens both at the office and at home, the ability to choose, to focus on what you consider important any given time – in other words doing what you like, when you like.
To establish this balance, define what do you think it means for you a balanced life, then which are the causes that make you unbalanced. Once aware of these causes go and find solutions to eliminate negative thoughts/events and nourish the positive ones.
What’s the source of your imbalance?
Knowing how to define your emotions is one of the safest and easiest ways to succeed in personal development. Whether emotions are positive or negative, learning to realize what do you feel may solve half the problem.
Remember a situation when you felt imbalanced. Write on a piece of paper the words to describe what you felt (eg, panic, anxiety, chaos, stress, touch, malaise, etc..).
If it’s an event at work, note how do you think your colleagues would describe you at that time and what type of behavior could they observe. If it happened at home, note how would your family describe you or your friends if they were present at that time. Repeat the exercise for each similar situation in the recent months.
Now, for each of the situations mentioned above answer the following questions:
- What triggered the state of disequilibrium? (Can be a telephone, a conversation, an incident etc.)
- If it is an action taken by you, what caused that action?
- If it is an external event, which were the first signs of that event?
After you answered these three questions, for each situation of imbalance noted analyzes wich were the elements that triggered your disequilibrium. Which are the most common? Is it pressure from superiors, a discussion with someone close, a postponement or delay etc.?
It’s interesting that for many people it is difficult to describe their inner balance, because we tend to observe what we don’t like and only a small extent what makes us pleasure or satisfaction.
Levels of balance
TOTAL BALANCE: I am in consonance with myself and others, happy, relaxed, confident, generous, master of my time, with sense of humor.
PARTIAL BALANCED: Understanding with me, once in a while I take a day off, spend more time with who I like, I am spoiling myself.
NEUTRAL STATE: I’m undecided, I’m not sympathetic with myself, tolerant with others and a perfectionist in everything I do.
PARTIAL IMBALANCED: I feel tired, overwhelmed by what I have to do, critical on everything about me, accumulating tensions, discontent, stirred with the kids / husband / wife.
TOTAL IMBALANCED: I despise myself, nervous and sometimes unfair to others, exhausted, defensive, without sense of humor, sometimes depressed.
After describing the elements identified, both balanced and unbalanced, we can determine those intermediate situations depending on the state that characterizes them.
Once these five levels of balance are “drawn”, you can easily determine which “box” describes best your mood at a particular time, in this way you can “auto-calibrate” periodically. When the first signs of imbalance make their presence, you can intervene before the situation degenerates.
In this way self-esteem climbs as integrity and compassion become all important. A new maturity and intimacy develops with family members, colleagues, and friends.