Find and Develop your Personal Power

imagesYour strength is greater than you can imagine right now! Why I’m saying this? Because lately I really wanted somebody to tell me this words … Because if I knew what unseen force I was keeping in me, I would not let this force unused for this long. Because if I knew that to be the same as others meant wasting my power, I have dared to follow my inner voice much earlier.

I’m free after too much time spent in chains, so that I do not know what to do with so much freedom. But I learned to get my strength back, to gather it piece by piece from where I gave it randomly. I also realize that these pieces won’t rebuild something that is still in me. A power so great, that has the ability to reborn from its own ashes, just like the Phoenix.

I want you to know that in you lies everything you need to create through thoughts, choices and your decisions, the life you desire! It is your personal power! We all we have it , but we’re afraid to use it.

Sounds like cliché, right? Something out of the books, but difficult to apply in real life. If there weren’t for this books, I would have stayed in the same closed circle of my limits. It was good, but still I could not help wondering what is beyond this circle. When I stepped outside it I knew there’s no way back. I turned against everything that built my world, I’ve thrown it all that was safe in my life to try to find out who I really am. I started to apply in my life what I was reading.

To apply the correct strategy, I think, first you have to know what you’re fighting. Or rather, who? As I did when I realized that I was struggling with myself. With all the habits I have built in a lifetime, my luggage, without which I would have been lost.

There are many ways to waste your personal power (much more when you want to regain), but if you recognize them and admit that you used them, then you can make a conscious choice to stop using them and turn away. Only then you’ll be able to put new habits in your baggage and become the person you wanted and could be.

Lao-Tzu-Knowing-YourselfI’m sure that if you do an analysis of your habits you can tell where your personal power drain. I want to enumerate 5 ways in which we lost and still lose power, hoping that you will adapt or complement what you consider is necessary:

1. Life on autopilot

I often reacted automatically to what has happened in my life. If I was hurt I got angry, if I was threatened I retired, if I was dominated I retired.

We all have a mental computer whose memory is made up of files. No matter what happens in our lives, we evoke a reaction that we think will protect us, extracting a file from our computer memory.

If you look at a child he will smile to an adult to get what he wants. If he doesn’t get what he wants he will get angry and start to cry. Unfortunately, many of us keep our reactions after childhood.

2. Self conviction

I would place this at the top. Only I know how many times I have been negative in my thoughts. I once read that if other people would tell us everything we tell ourselves we’d probably call the police.

So either you do or do not like the way you look, your job, the house you live in, the list is endless. Either way you lose to much power battling with your thoughts.

3. Disapproval

When I hate someone, I don’t support a particular situation or detest myself! Not infrequently I had the impression that the world is looking strange at me and I wondered if something was wrong with me.
We are assuming this disapproval even when it’s not addressed to us, transforming unhappiness of other people in our misery simply because we do not have sufficient confidence in us.

4. Questions we face

I do not know the way you are, but I was an expert on scenarios and dilemmas. If I did not know what to do in certain situations I started to put so many questions that sometimes I was forgetting where I started.

These questions only amplify internal conflicts because our minds can not answer them. If it knew this answers we would not have felt the need for questioning. It’s like we seek outside an item lost in the house. This mad search for answers and solutions deepens us in negativity until our minds  condemns us that we are unable to find a solution.

5. Trying to make others accept us and love us

I waited a long time acceptance and love from people that were bankrupt in this chapter. How can I give love to people that do not love themselves? I’ve noticed in time that they were seeking/wishing the same thing as i did.

I’ve lost power trying to be pleasing to others by doing what they wanted me to do. And now I’m trying to recover everything I’ve lost.

There are many other ways you can lose power: blaming family members, victimization, dramatization, fear, worry, regret, jealousy, frustration, and the list could continue.

Here are some guidelines to test your own lack of power:

Do you expect the worst
Are you hurt by words, actions or decisions of others
Are you “carrying” resentment from the past
Are you lamenting over present but you do nothing to change this
You do not really know what you want or what you need
You often feel used, manipulated or disregarded
You prefer not to make any “waves” around you so better leave them to others to get what they want
You take decisions thinking whether your actions will harm the interests of other people
You don’t trust your own decisions
Most of the time others take control
– Most often you follow the advice of others, although you would not want.

Analyze your own negative side effects. You will discover what is draining your energy and personal power.

It is said that the lack of personal power is behind the lack of confidence, lack of self-esteem and among other things the lack of motivation.



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