Each person has certain techniques to get what they want: some use seduction, others entreaties, while others call for intimidation. But you don’t need to be a specialist to get the desired result. We have some tricks that could help you:
1. Start things on their behalf
“People will be more willing to continue a job that was started by others,” says Steve Martin (co-writer of „Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive”) . So next time you want to convince your boyfriend to wash the dishes, begin to wash cutlery, then ask him to finish the job .
2. Use the magic word “imagine”
Try to use the following expression next time you want to convince your partner to do something: “I know I will be late tonight, but you can’t imagine how relieved I’ll be if you’ll finish the job before I’ll come back home?”
This technique will create a very realistic image in the mind of whom you want to convince. He will imagine how happy you will be when the job will be done or, conversely, how much will affect you if your request will not be fulfilled, says Michael Lee (co-writer of „How to Be an Expert Persuader in 20 Days or Less”). This rule will work often because most people will try to avoid a fight, not to create one.
3. Highlight what will they lose
Football season began, so, your boyfriend is probably glued to TV every night. You want to catch his attention and make him do something else?
The two authors say that you’ll have no problem doing that if you try to apply this technique.
What should you do? It’s simple, instead of making your boyfriend feel guilty that he is not paying attention on you, try to show him what will he lose if will continue to watch TV. It seems that people are more motivated to do something when they think about what they will lose than what have they gain.
4. Be the first that gives
People are psychologically programmed to return a favor, says Martin. We apply this rule every day without realizing that we use a very good persuasion technique. So next time you want to achieve something, first think about how you can do a favor to get one in return.
If you do a good deed to someone, that person will feel somewhat compelled to return your gesture, and when you will ask for something you will not get a refuse.
5. Ask for more than you need
“People feel guilty when they refuse to do what you’ve asked them,” says Lee. He believes that if you ask them a second thing, which is what you wanted in the first place, you will get satisfied demand .
This is a tactic which children apply very well. Don’t you recognize somehow this speech: “Can we play on the computer? No? But can we at least watch TV? “
The second question in this speech gives freedom of choice and is positioned as if it were an alternative to the first thing refused. In this way parents feel relieved and the child will get what he wanted from the beginning.
6. Make him/her laugh
Michael Lee recommends to people that want to be more convincing to try to be more funny.
This view is supported by the American comedian, John Cleese, who says that if you can make someone laugh, then that person will sympathize you more and be more open to your ideas.
7. Forget singular, use plural
Several studies have shown that if you use the pronoun “we” you could convince your mate to make a compromise.
Threats like “If you don’t do this, I will …” or rational response “You should do this for the following reasons” will not work.
They should be replaced by an approach that should contain the plural because it reinforces the feeling of living together, unity. It would be better to use a line such as: “We’ve been through this before and managed to resolve the situation then we can solve it together again.”
8. Use positive labeling technique
“You did a great job and I’m sure next time will be even better“
Experts say that the strongest principle of persuasion is hidden in a person’s need to remain constantly connected to his past, explains Lee.
“People can be more easily persuaded to behave in a certain way if they have been reacted the same in the past and this has been observed” he said.
9. Choose the right time
Sometimes you fail to be convincing not because you ask anything too hard but because you chose a bad time to expose your desire.
People can be more easily persuade immediately after they thanked someone for something. Conversely, you are more convincing when someone just thanked you for something.
This is the perfect time to ask a favor. Have you ever tried saying, “You’re welcome, since you’ve finished your job I was hoping I will get some help with this.”